DEATH BY SUICIDE.

So I woke up thinking.........

What on Earth could ever make me commit suicide?

People who think and make up their minds to do that and still go ahead to carry it out, how low did they get to reach such point?

It does happen. Been there but not done that and I can tell you that depression is a self-induced sickness.

Yes, some found themselves in situations that looked all gloom and doom but they failed to see the other side of it; that tiny dim light called hope.

They lost touch with it and just like that, death became their best friend whom they had to pay a one-way visit to.

I lost a friend years ago to this never return visitation. He was one of the most jovial beings ever. A renowned prankster and always kept a smile on his face inspite of everything.
One of the most notable things about him was his uncanny ability to create humor out of the worst situations in that 'the future is bright' type of way.

Me: "Ikye I just lost my phone now and its a very expensive one with lots of important contacts in it"

Him: "Have you asked your grandmother"?

Me: "Grandmother? Which grandmother"?

Him: "Your grandmother. You should ask her maybe she is with it"

Me: "Guy what are you talking about? My grandmother is late"

Him: "Good. And as she is late you're not worried about her again cause she is gone, stop worrying about the phone too cause its gone. You'll get another one".

Me: "Ol boy nawa for you o. I am talking about my phone and you're talking about my grandmother"

Him: "Okay so you value your phone more than your grandmother"?

Me: "I never said I value my phone more"

Him: "That's it then. Since you can forget your grandmother as she is no more then you can also forget your phone as it is no more"

Then I'll be forced to keep quiet and not mention the phone again. At least not to his hearing.

That was him. Everything to him was about "what next", as this has already happened let's move to the next chapter instead of crying over what we can't change.

We all loved that about him cause he was the quickest means to putting behind one's worries.

Did I mention he loved beer too. We drank our fair share of life's social curse. He was fun to be with as there was never a dull moment with him even if a nuclear bomb was about to go off, Ike would've made fun of our impending doom. Lol

One of the only three people I ever met to turn sorrow to comedy.

Then one sad morning, another of our friend, the person that introduced me to Ike woke me up with a call to tell me that he is dead.
I waited for the laughter thinking the guy must have taken up morbid humor as his new trade but nothing came forth. I asked who he was talking about? Deep down I knew the answer to that but I was confused as I saw him the day before and he didn't complain of anything.
After the whole recap and stuff, the next thing he said was what struck me hard and stuck in my head till this very day.... "They said he committed suicide".

I wanted to believe he made a mistake and asked what that meant and he added "he hung himself".

It was like a flash. The entire years I knew him appeared like images in quick succession within a few seconds.

I said "Obinna you know that's just not possible. Ikye? Suicide? Bro that's crap".

Obinna: "Emperor, I'm as confused as you are. I can't even figure out how this is possible. This is a shock. This guy hardly ever got upset and always quick to make others forget their worries. In short I don't know. We will see later".

Later I went to his office and his boss gave further details including the relatives that were there.
They said he did it in the early hours of the morning.
I wasn't grieving anymore. I only wanted to know why.

Then they mentioned the huge amount of debts he owed. I knew of it but as someone who hated dwelling on sad things, he discussed that in a highly passive way.

Really, it took me a long while to accept that he did it himself. I never wanted to. Even when the sister was crying I was busy calculating the possibility that she might had been a party to his getting strangled in his sleep.

Yeah, that was how much in denial I was. Even some stilll believe he was killed till this day.

But that whole event left a big hole in me. Not just that I lost a charming friend but confused as to how do we keep on going and where do we even get the psychological attributes to NOT break down?

If someone who made a name for himself as Mr Don't Worry About A Thing fell to the same thing he spoke against then how else can one successfully swim through that endless ocean without drowning?

I know I've been doing that well but nothing good is ever enough in life if you want to always keep getting it right.